When The Hell Is My Birthday?

I was born at 11:09 AM on November 29th in New York City. So, naturally, every year for the last 26 years, I have turned one year older on November 29th. That's not that much of a mind-bender.

But this year I am really not sure. See, 11:09 AM in New York in November 29th is 1:09 AM November 30th in Japan. So when the hell do I turn 27?

Japanese New York City

Feeling the blues of being away from home for the second consecutive Thanksgiving, I went to Tokyo for the weekend. Thursday was a national holiday in Japan too - their Labor Day - and I was able to get Friday off, leaving me a good block of time to spend in the nation's capital.

Being from outside New York City, and having spent most of my life in and around big cities, I was not overwhelmed by the number of people or the size of the buildings. In fact, it did bring bring a large slice of home to the homesick. In many, many ways, Tokyo is New York City. The most glaring exceptions to this statement are that Tokyo lacks much of what I've come to really detest about the Big Apple.
For example, Tokyo is clean. In true Japanese style, there is very little graffiti. There are very few cigarette butts on the ground, and practically no litter. The city does not have the aromatic combination of urine and garbage.
Tokyo is quiet. This got a look of confusion when I listed that in my impression of the city to some locals, but comparing Tokyo to New York as far as noise goes is no comparison. Hardly any car horns or sirens. I heard some, sure, but nowhere near what is heard in a 30-second sampling of New York City sound.
The locals are also far nicer than anything I've come to expect from a Manhattanite. Not just to me, but to each other. Near-bike crashes were met with laughter rather than screaming and blame.
Tokyo is also far brighter than New York. And as the sheer volume of neon lights which power the city's advertisements is rivaled only by Las Vegas, even in the daytime, buildings are painted a rainbow of colors, not the gray / brown / brick combination seen in New Amsterdam.


The sights I saw in Tokyo were plentiful. Certainly the city is so large that 4 days is hardly enough to see what there is to see, but I got a good sampling. Of course I made it to the famous Meiji shrine and the Imperial Palace.
But having the interest in electronics that I do, I could not pass up a trip to Akihabara, the center of the electronics universe. By every account I have come across, Akihabara has all the electronic equipment you could ever want (and then some).

Most of what I saw was stuff available anywhere and everywhere, at roughly the same prices. The sheer volume of what I saw was the most impressive feature of "the land of tomorrow." However, there are a couple notable things I came across worth sharing.
I was walking around this electronics paradise and I saw this man who looked like he was in a fight. Curious as to what was going on, and even more curious as to why everyone else around him was so calm and disinterested, I walked over. As I got closer, I saw this man was wearing these giant white boxing gloves and swinging at the air. Meanwhile, his virtual hands were pounding a computer opponent onscreen.

Later, I found a most interesting USB gadget. Plug this sucker into a USB port on your computer, and your cup of coffee will stay warm. Something all computer and caffeine addicts could use.


When I mentioned the "sheer volume" of what was to be found in Akihabara, here's an example. The Japanese love to accessorize their gadgets, the most ubiquitous of which is the cell phone. Charms range from souvenirs (sold at most sights I've been to in the country thusfar) to cartoon characters, stuffed animals to jewelry. They're usually on strings a couple inches in length, and most people have one or two attached to their phone. I have seen people with a greater volume of charms than the phone they're meant to accessorize (for the record, my phone is charm-less). This one store in Akihabara has two entire aisles dedicated to everything cell-phone charm. TWO AISLES! While I resisted the (*cough*) overwhelming urge to buy twenty of them, I was unable to contain myself from photographing the madness.


One of the highlights of the weekend was my excursion to the Park Hyatt Hotel. This is where much of the film Lost In Translation was filmed. I went to the bar on the 52nd floor and enjoyed a couple (outrageously expensive) drinks. The bar was pretty cool, and it offers an outstanding view of the city.
There's one more thing which Tokyo has that New York does not - a mountainous skyline, punctuated by one of the best-known mountains in the world - Mount Fuji. Before arriving in Tokyo, I had heard people mention that once, long ago, seeing Fuji-san was possible from Tokyo. But with the pollution and haze which has come along since the city reached its worldwide stature, those days were long gone, save the exceptionally clear day.
Before entering the bar, we were graced with such a marvelous view of the sun setting behind this glorious mountain. A picture hardly does the scene justice, but that is all I have to offer.


All in all, a great weekend. Tokyo quickly became my favorite place in Japan, and I plan on going back soon.

Buying Clothes for the American-Sized Man

With the mercury dropping, and a winter coat missing from my wardrobe (the 12-dollar one I bought last year in Prague made it through one and only one winter, as I had both expected and wanted), I set out looking for a good replacement to keep me warm.

Two weekends ago, I went to UNIQLO - a cheap clothing store not too far from where I live. I had been successful at UNIQLO before when looking for other clothes - a couple fleeces, a shirt or two - and was fully confident a jacket would be next in the line of purchases.

I found a jacket I really wanted - a thick, wool jacket, and was excited to see the jacket was only 8000 yen, or about 75 dollars US. Found it in a Large. Tried it on, and then I quickly came to the realize something which should have been obvious to me well before I walked into the store - a Japanese "Large" is an American "Medium." And of course, looking for a Japanese XL (an American L) jacket was like looking for an endangered species. A salesperson informed me that these were clearance items, so they had only L's and M's. (M's and S's)
Sigh.
Well, not to worry, I knew of a few other relatively-cheap clothing stores in the area. Went to them all. Not in one of them did they have a jacket which fit and was less than 20,000 yen (roughly 170 USD). My budget was half that.
Frustrated, and cold, I went back home. I would try again next weekend.

So I did, and I went to more stores all with the same results this past Saturday. Again, no luck.

Day 3. Sunday.
I dislike clothes shopping. Strongly. I buy myself clothes maybe once a year, and when I do, I make it a one-day affair. The fact that my search for a winter jacket was entering its third full day was, well, a source of tension for me.

I head to Kyoto. Surely a city of this size has a jacket in the XL category. Five hours, six stores, and zero purchases later, I was succumbing to the idea that I just might have to spend 20,000 yen on a jacket. One last stop at the UNIQLO in Kyoto before heading back to the 20,000 yen jacket I tried on earlier but rejected because of its price tag. Perhaps the Kyoto UNIQLO would have that initial jacket in the XL.
Upon entering the UNIQLO, there was a guy holding an advertising sign out front. The notable thing about this guy was the rather large afro wig he was wearing. OK..., I thought.
Inside UNIQLO, as there was no employee without the same giant afro wig, there was no jacket with the right size.
Disheartened, I decided to head upstairs to the used-clothing section of the store. After great effort, I managed to navigate my way through the sea of shoppers and clothes randomly strewn about the tables and floor to make my way to a rack of jackets. Where, lo and behold, I found one that looked like it just might fit.
Tried it on, and was astounded to see that yes, it did make its way entirely around my seemingly inhuman frame. And with the price of a mere 8300 yen, I ecstatically made my way back through the sea of strewn clothes, wandering and cell phone-using shoppers, and salespeople wearing those giant afro wigs to the cash register.

Upon making it to the front of the line, I joked with the clerk in half Japanese, half English that we had the same hair, only that mine was natural. He seemed to think this was one of the funniest things he had ever heard. So much so that he immediately said "10 percent off!" Floored, I ended up walking out of the store a mini-celebrity cause I was the only person with a natural afro, saving 12500 yen, and warm in my new winter coat.

Still strongly in need of slippers (which seems to be even more of a Herculean task than a jacket), but at least one thing can be checked off the list.

Yatta!

On Being Superman

It occurs to me I failed to share a couple things that came to my attention being Superman.

First off, it is damn hard to pee in that outfit. I know he's got a Super-bladder and all, but man, that takes some time when nature calls.

Secondly, where does he hide his cape when he's masquerading around as Clark Kent? The cape clearly hangs down below his waist. Does he stuff it into his dress slacks?

Pondering the imponderables here on the far side of the Pacific...

Halloween

I know it is the middle of November, and the Jack-o-Lanterns have long ago been collected by the trash man, but I've wanted to share my Halloween experiences living in Japan. (warning - blackmail material below...)

Teaching children has its perks. It allows the child in me to come to the surface not only without fear of misunderstanding or ridicule, but wholly embraced by the audience. So with that in mind, I was pretty ambitious with my costume this year, and put a lot of time and effort putting together the following:

After a week of constant (and by constant I mean several times a day, everyday) pestering, I was able to get my coworkers to dress up as well. Unfortunately, I have only a couple blackmail pictures of them.

That's Tomoe and Yumiko as witches, and my fellow expat Patrick as General Zod, Superman's nemesis in the second Superman movie with Christopher Reeve.

Back to the kids. Some of them had advance warning of the holiday, and had their own costumes including witches, Chip and Dale (brothers, one 3 years old and one 4), a pirate, Doraemon (a Japanese cartoon character), Winnie the Pooh. Even a teacher at one of the schools I taught up dressed up as Krillen from DragonBall.


As cute as they may seem, I would like to point out their height - right at crotch level. As they normally love to say hello by poking, slapping, punching, or (as recently) headbutting my special area, they were even more interested in doing so to Superman. My defenses have gotten pretty tight, but even so, when attacked by a swarm of them at the end of each class, even Superman writhes in pain. Headbutts to the groin are most certainly my kryptonite.

In the afternoon, I was in charge of the after-school program held at our school for 9 girls, aged 5-9. I put together a "haunted" room complete with "spooky" music such as The Monster Mash, the theme from Ghostbusters, and Thriller. Blindfolded, they put their hands in bowls of eyeballs (peeled grapes), hearts (peeled kiwis), and brains (spaghetti with tomato sauce). Their shrieks were very satisfying. When the blindfolds were finally removed and the lights turned on, they wanted to eat the food. Sure, knock yourselves out.
We carved pumpkins too. Funny, but Japan only seems to have small, green pumpkins. No large orange ones. But nevertheless, they had a great time, and most of the parents had never seen a Jack-o-Lantern in real life before, so fun was had by all.


On a final note, about an hour ago I got internet at my apartment. So updates should be coming more regularly to the Buroggu. I have posts in the works about food, the Japanese language, and blood types. Stay tuned...

The Crazy of the Day

Thursday morning, I taught at a local pre-school with my coworker Naoya. A quick note about Naoya - he was born in Wales, with a Welsh mom and a Japanese dad. He moved back to Japan about 10 years ago, and took Japanese in school when all his classmates studied English, so he's pretty darn good with both languages.

We played a game with the class of five-year olds which required putting some tape on the floor. After the class, I picked up the tape, and not seeing a garbage can, I carried it with me as we left the building. As is customary, we said good-bye and thank you to the office staff on our way out. Noticing a garbage can in the office, I turned to Naoya and asked him to ask the staff if we could throw the 2-inch diameter ball of tape out there.

"No."
"What?"
"No."
"You can't ask?"
"No, we can't throw it out here."
"Why not?"
"It's our trash."
"Yea, so?"
"We brought it with us, so we must take it with us when we leave."
"What?! What's wrong with throwing it out here?"
"It's their garbage can. It's our trash."
"Yea.... and...?"
"So we can't throw it out here."
"Naoya, the garbage can is 1 meter tall. I can understand if we wanted to throw away something like a computer or a lawnmower, but we're talking about a tiny piece of tape."
"Yea, I know. We must throw it out back at our office."
"WHY??"
"I have no idea. I've been in this country for 8 years, and I have no idea why they do certain things like this. Really, it makes no sense to me."

For a society that is all about unity and promoting the group over the individual, what could be simpler and nicer than lending 4 cubic inches of your garbage to someone else? And not just any random shmo - someone who has just taught your students?!

After we left the school, with the balled-up tape in hand, I turned to Naoya, and said, "You Japanese are really confused people." He thought I meant confusing, but I made sure that he knew I meant confused. Which he actually agreed with.