Su-po-tsu, Pa-to 2

I almost titled this post something along the lines of "Guess what! I interacted with a foreigner!"

In my previous post, I neglected to mention a conversation I had with Naoya not too long ago. One of my soccer teammates was unnecessarily complimenting my ability after a game in which I played quite poorly. When I asked Naoya later why the guy went on as he did, Naoya explained to me that this guy felt "honored to be playing with a foreigner."
"What? Why??"
"Because he's never had that opportunity before."
"OK... I don't quite see the honor in that."
But if he's happy, great.

I went snowboarding this past Saturday for the first time in my life. I was picked up at 3:30AM and we drove a few hours to the mountains. Saw the sun rise over an absolutely gorgeous landscape.


The only thing which really stuck out at me as different between the winter mountain sports here and what I've experienced in the States was the ratio of snowboarders to skiers. I've always seen about a 40/60 ratio, skiers outnumbering boarders. This time, though, the ratio was about 90/10 boarders to skiers.
I gained a basic level of proficiency as the day went on, going down the shortest slope, and was enjoying myself. I was surprised at this, as the last few times I had gone down a snow-covered mountain I was not that enthralled with the experience. I started to think about continuing to snowboard in the future.

However, that all came to an abrupt stop when I fell badly and dislocated my left shoulder. The ski lodge did not have a doctor or trainer on site, and the nearest hospital was a very long 30 minutes away by car. After about an hour after the fall, we finally arrived. And that's when the fun began.
Upon walking in, we immediately encountered the check-in desk reserved only for skiers and snowboards. I checked in, and sat down with other shoulder dislocations, a broken ankle, and a couple concussions.


The extreme pain I was in was lessened by the hilarity I found (and had a hand in creating) in the situation. The two other dislocators were called ahead of me, and I couldn't help but laugh hysterically as I watched them each hobble into the treatment room. "You're my brother!" I called to one of them, noting I was walking the same crippled way. After a couple minutes, each of them came out of the room smiling, arm in sling, relieved their bodies were put back together. Great, I thought, this will be a cinch.
I knew that putting a dislocated joint back into its socket is a painful experience, but one in which the pain subsides immediately after its completion. I was prepared for this. Eventually I was called in, and the doctors showed me the X-rays and eased me out of my jacket and shirt. They had me lie down, and my friend translated to me that they wanted me to relax as much as possible. I did, and the doctor began to put my arm back in place. But he couldn't. In the most incredible pain I can remember, I couldn't help but scream out. When the nurses yelled at me to relax more, I yelled back (in English), "Are you out of your fucking minds? I can't relax any more than this!"
My very mild-mannered friend starting yelling at the nurses saying that they helped the other shoulder dislocators with ease. Then my friend was asked to leave. I was thrilled to be left without a translator. However, she was called back soon thereafter and it was explained to me that my muscles were "too big" and so they couldn't get my arm back into its socket without giving me general anesthesia. Just one more way that my "huge" size doesn't fit in this country. Am I too big? Or are they too small?
So a mask was put on me and they told me to start counting. I did, and when I reached 10, the mask was removed. But I was not asleep, and I kept on counting. I heard the nurses' stunned Japanese as they realized they hadn't given me enough nitrous. I'm sure they gave me the dosage for the typical Japanese-sized person, but as I had recently proven to them, I am a smidgen larger than that. So they gave me a second dose, and I finally went under.

When I woke up, I was so loopy that I started singing "Leaving On a Jet Plane" as I was wheeled past the other patients to have a second X-ray taken. Some of the patients waiting to be seen were pre-teens, and they were absolutely terrified because they heard my earlier screaming, and thought, "If they made someone that size scream, what the hell is going to happen to me???" It was explained to them that their injuries were far less severe than mine, but *cough* more importantly *cough*, I was a foreigner, so I didn't know how to hold in my pain. Uhh... riiiiiight.

When I reached a semi-coherent state, I asked the nurse if she could get my friends. She came back a couple minutes later and told me there was no one there. I asked her to check again. She did, and still no one. I could not help but belly laugh to tears at my predicament - in the middle of Japan (still not all that sure where) without a wallet or phone (my friends had taken those from me earlier) or any ID, not knowing where we were staying for the night, and speaking very little of the language. Clearly I hadn't completely sobered up yet as I found myself in uncontrollable laughter.

On top of this all, I found out later that I had been covered in a Winnie the Pooh blanket. When my friends finally did arrive back at the hospital (they had gone to the hotel to check in), they took pictures of me with my blankie.


When I left the hospital, the look on nearly everyone's face was "thank goodness he's leaving here." I sure gave plenty of people some stories to share.

Here's one last picture which really hits home the size problems I have in this country. This was taken in our hotel room. Yes, if I walk upright, I hit my head on doorways. All the time.


The last bit of sports I wish to share is of the annual unofficial American holiday of the Super Bowl. Kickoff was at about 6:15PM Eastern, which was 8:15AM Monday morning local. As I had to go to work, I could not watch the game. It was also incredibly hard to find it on television (it was broadcast here, but not on any station I get). I was able to find the video of it on the internet, though, and got to watch it two days later. 14 hours ahead, but 2 days behind, I felt very American watching the Super - er, I mean, the Turnover - Bowl. I was not rooting for either team, but I am happy for Peyton Manning, Tony Dungy and the rest of the Colts. They've been the hard-luck losers for the last couple years. Glad to see them finally rise to the top.